Unspeakable Grief
Many people have heard the news
from a policeman or a teacher that pulls them out of class, or a phone call
from a friend, all bringing the same message:
“We
regret to inform you..."
When I
was 7 I was just another oblivious child to reality, going to school, playing
with my friends and toys. These were basically all the things that consumed my
mind. Then one chilling February school day something was about to happen that
would affect my life forever.
My mom
sat me and my sister down in our room on our bed, being a kid this usually meant
she found out about the candy we took or glass we had broken but today it was
far worse than that.
I
remember everything about this day the way the tears fell, the way we sought
comfort in each other, the looks of disbelief that my father had died.
It was
extremely hard on me, I no longer had someone to swim or play catch with, no
one to teach me how to ride a bike like all dads’ are supposed to do. I now
only had 2 people in my life to call family and this would only be the
beginning.
Being 7
it was hard to deal with my emotions I never really quite understood them. I
knew I was angry and upset and nothing seemed to please me. So I had to do what
many people do, I faced my grief. Now I was only 7 so bear with me on this.
Growing
up things were tough, I didn't have a dad to make the classroom craft for on
father's day, I didn’t have the dad to explain what my parent(s) did as jobs. I
always felt alone and different until I learned there were many more people
like me, in a small story I heard in church.
It was a
story about a man named David. Now David was just the typical guy of his era, herded
sheep, even fought a giant, and would soon become God's anointed King. Yet
David had to face many Giants other than the famous Goliath, he had to face a
giant lots of us are familiar with, Grief.
You see
David was supposed to me the anointed King soon, but Saul was the current king
and he heard about David and had been plotting his death for quite some time
now. Yet Saul had a son named Johnathan who soon became great friends with
David and he helped David run and hide from Saul. They become best friends that
truly loved one another.
One day
though in the battle between the Hebrews and the Philistines Saul and Johnathan
died. David soon came to find out about this loss but David didn’t flee like I
did, he faced his Giant.
I had
to become like David and face this giant too. It took me years though, since I
had built up walls of anger and resent towards God. But one day everything
changed.
I was
just finishing this race for swimming 100m backstroke and I had actually come1st
overall. I was so happy and proud of myself and I just took a quick look at the
bleachers and for a split second I saw my father looking down on me with my
first win with a big smile on his face, and I even swore I heard him whisper: "I'm
proud of you"
From that
day on I made sure I would do my best in every race, because I would now race
in memory of my father. My dad was a scuba diving instructor as well as an
amazing swimmer himself. So now I swim with him and his strength in my heart.
Yes,
David did mourn, grieve and cry but that’s okay, even Jesus had a moment to
mourn and it is even written:
“There is... a
time to mourn"
(Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4)
We will
all face a time of pain and grief. David faced his beloved friends death,
challenged it, but he didn't deny it.
Face your
grief with truth. God has the last word on death and if you listen, he will
tell you the truth about your loved ones.
When you
leave your friends, do you bid them farewell? No, you say : " I’ll See You Soon"
Because you
mean it.
So when
you stare down at the softly turned soil, and new grass at the cemetery you
look down and say:
”I’ll
See You Soon"
Written by : Angelica Anderson
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